1.
Insecurity. Research reveals clergy as one of the most insecure of
all professional groups. Insecurity is the root of many unhealthy and ungodly
behaviors. It provokes us to want the lavish praise and attention of others
too much. Much of pride is motivated out of one’s unmet need for self-worth.
Finding one’s identity and security in Christ is a must to avoid pride.
2. The need to be right. Ever encounter
someone who has a hard time being wrong? This is a symptom of pride. The need
to be right prevents one from appropriately evaluating issues as well as
themselves (Galatians 6:3). A person who needs to be right
has an exalted investment in himself or herself and thinks that he/she knows
better than others. In religious circles, the need to be right is frequently
manifested through always saying ‘God told me’ or ‘God showed me’.
3. Being argumentative. Individuals, who
argue their point of view, especially to those in authority over them, are
allowing pride to get the best of them. At the root of their argument is a
belief that they are right and the other is wrong and that their will
should prevail. It is appropriate to advocate for a point of view or position
but not to do so in such a manner that you are more invested in your opinion
than in arriving at a mutual understanding.
4. More invested in being heard than in hearing.
When someone develops a pattern of needing others to listen to them rather
than first hearing others, pride is motivating the need. The need to be heard
is common among clergy who are insecure. Oftentimes, the individual does not
feel loved or valued unless people "hear them out." In truth, this is often
just an expression of insecurity and pride.
5. Anger. Anger is a
self-justifying emotion. This means that the nature of anger is to prompt us
to justify our position and blame another for the wrongdoing. Justification of
self leads to denial of our own complicity or wrongdoing. The scripture warns
that the "anger of man does not accomplish the righteousness of God."
(James 1:20). An individual who is angry a lot is suffering from
pride.
6. Irritability and impatience. Even
though I am a counselor, it was only recently that I learned that the root of
impatience in my life is anger and therefore pride. When we are unable to be
patient with another and are irritated, it demonstrates a haughty view of
self. We feel that our views, time or needs are more important than the other
persons. This again is more an indication of our pride than someone else’s
slow movement or imperfection.
7. Lack of submissive attitude.
Submission is the voluntary placement of oneself under the influence, control
or authority of another. When an individual pledges their submission to you or
another, yet is critical or argumentative of that authority, then pride is the
hidden issue. The test of humility and submission is being able to say ‘yes’,
maintain a positive attitude and trust God, especially when the decision of
your authority goes against your grain or better judgment.
8. Not easily corrected. Ever work or live
with someone who won’t receive any negative or corrective feedback? This too
is pride. Before he died, a pastor in the East Valley was noted for being
easily entreated and able to receive corrective feedback from others. He would
thank the person for the negative feedback and commit to pray about it, seek
counsel and get back to the person with what conclusions he came to. He was a
role model for many of us.
9. Receiving correction but not
changing. I worked with a man who often would receive my correction
and say thank you for the feedback, but would never change. This too is a form
of pride. The individual was placating me and people-pleasing me, telling me
what I wanted to hear but not really taking the feedback to heart. His
insecurity and fear prevented him from truly changing.
10. Needing others to take your advice.
Counselors, such as myself, easily fall into the trap of having to have others
take their advice. Advice should always be offered without strings attached.
If you find yourself resenting the fact that your advice is not followed, look
deeper at the motivating issues in your life.
11. Needing to proclaim your title
or degrees. A good friend of mine requires everyone to call him
‘pastor’, saying that he has deservedly earned the title. Demanding that
others call you ‘doctor’ or ‘pastor’ or ‘bishop’ is usually a way of making
you ‘one up’ and them ‘one down’. Once again, pride is fueling the
requirement.
12. Being stubborn. Webster’s dictionary
defines stubbornness as "unduly determined to exert one’s own will, not
easily persuaded and difficult to handle or work, resistant." The root
issue of stubbornness is willfulness, which is ‘I want what I want when I want
it’. Another name for pride.
13. Comparisons and competition.
2 Corinthians 10:12 makes it clear that comparing oneself
with others is unwise. Comparison is a form of competition. It is often overt.
For example, emphasizing the size of one’s church, the number of converts,
etc. However, it can also be the subtle sin of heart that inwardly grieves
when another is more successful or rejoices when another pastor’s ministry
enters hard times. The motive of heart is pride.
